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Phantasmagorialand

by Perspective, a lovely hand to hold

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1.
This, this is the loosening of limbs. Torn, torn is your sole from the pavement. Weak, weak is the story you came with. Hard, hard is the truth as you face it. Sing, sing and get lost in your own hymns. This, this is the loosening of limbs.
2.
I stepped away from the plate. I struck out. I watched it float by. Went to the back of the line. Yeah it’s hard to define when things go wrong. Let it go. My copper cup’s turning green all alone. I sit here exposed. Numbed up and out on the road. Now I know what it means to move along. Sometimes I fantasize of happiness and following it through. And I’ll romanticize the accidents, the old in with the new. But please don’t worry, oh don’t worry because some dreams don’t come true for you. I still think about it every day. The chances that I’ll never take I try not to exaggerate about the way it makes my knees weak, heart ache, palms sweat, short breath. Things come undone. What have I done? What have I failed to do? Some permanent hue of feeling languid in lieu of the old tried and true. A wounded soul. Been looming silent in my primal state. Been feeling the weight. These sullen eyelids that stay. Go ahead, clear the slate and lay me down. Let it go. Sometimes I fantasize of happiness and following it through. And I’ll romanticize the accidents, the old in with the new. But please don’t worry, oh don’t worry because some dreams don’t come true. I still think about it every day. The chances that I’ll never take I try not to exaggerate about the way it makes my knees weak, heart ache, palms sweat, short breath. Things come undone. I still think about it every day.
3.
Stay Near 02:22
4.
It’s just like everything I ever wanted listened closely and took a vote and it came to consensus: the jokes on me. And heard the faults that were mine for the taking, receded slowly. Just like a thief in the night gone unnoticed watching closely. (Natural disaster) What goes up, must come down. (Just a natural disaster) Looking in, seeing out. It’s a lonely trip to the bottom. It’s a long, long winding road. It’s mistakes that are never forgotten. It’s just memories lost in the fold. Another sleuth I resign to the notion, swinging boldly. Projected images of apparitions seen remotely. Head heavy held in my hands like a coward, wind blows coldly. Hung debonair on a tree is potential, speaking lowly. (Natural disaster) What goes up, must come down. (Just a natural disaster) Looking in, seeing out. It’s a lonely trip to the bottom. It’s a long, long winding road. It’s mistakes that are never forgotten. It’s just memories lost in the fold.
5.
Ah. (that’s it baby)
6.
Surviveding 02:37
I know it takes time to make time. I wanna know where the time goes. Days, they turn into nights to closed eyes. Oh how the days go by. The days go by. Mundane Monday, Two-Time Tuesday, Worn-Out Wednesday, Thursday’s just a means to an end. Forward Friday, Sacred Saturday, Strung-Out Sunday, desperately composing my amends. Burning and burning and burning and burning and burning and burning and burning and burning and burning and burning and burning and burning and burning and burning and burning and burning and survive the rest of our lives, it takes a little time to realize it's just the rest of our lives. Survive the rest of our lives. It takes a little time to realize the rest of our lives. It takes a little time to realize. I know it takes time to make time.
7.
8.
Breathe it in, the sweet relief. Let the blood flow peacefully. Find your mantra that soothes your soul. There are some things you can’t control. I keep trying to carry on. There she blows, my ecstasy. Juxtaposed, anxiety. Zoom in close, what do you see? Counting one Mississippi. I keep trying to execute the patterns that perpetuate what matters most of all. I outta know by now (now I know). Cry cry cry, when no one’s around (here I go). Amplify what is in your head (let it grow). Justify what you haven’t said. (“.. - .-..-. ... / .... .- .-. -.. / - --- / -... . / .-- .. ... . / .- -. -.. / .. -. / .-.. --- ...- . / .- - / - .... . / ... .- -- . / - .. -- .”) A violent outburst that makes me feel alive. A total spectrum. A permanent divide. I’m burgeoning my mind.

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released June 24, 2022

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Perspective, a lovely hand to hold Nashua, New Hampshire

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